Efficiency, sarcasm, and natty fur!

This monkey and this robot once had a system: three blogs for three subjects. But it was complicated and vague and usually ended in feces throwing. So we have combined all three into a melange of media reviews and links and excessive blather, so as to reduce the burden on your short attention span.

In the right column, Monkey + Robot have compiled for you a compendium of sassy, savvy and in the know media reviews and tidbits, for your time-wasting pleasure. And lest you poke at us with sticks or cut off our power supply, the reviews are now selectable through those perky drop-down menus. Monkey + Robot Film and TV reviews, Wrongrobot's Comic Stash, and more.

Grab a chunk of melon and some Demoral, because in the left column, we have accumulated for you every snappy link we found amusing, entertaining, provocatively witty, or frankly, just colorful, with easy to understand small words so monkeybites can follow along. Such is Robotic Root!

Entertainment Media Ratings System:

Wrongrobot's Robot Rating: 1-10 Clicks, more indicating a happier robot!

Monkeybites' Monkey Rating: 1-10 Ooks! More indicating a mouthful of rotting simian teeth and lips curled in monkey pleasure!

IronLung's Robot Rating: 1-10 Clanks! More indicating a red-eyed, slack-jawed, blissed-out, ride-pimped dizzy droid! [this is good]

Vicbot's Robot Rating: 1-10 Whirrs! More indicating data that computes well with others.

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WWW http://monkey-plus-robot-reviews.blogspot.com
Wrongrobot's Fantasy Film Casting:
Casting Batman: Year One
Casting The Losers
Casting Richard Zach's Pirate Hunter

:::

Film Reviews [M+R Review Rating, out of 10 Possible Clicks, or Clanks, or Ooks]

Adventures of Baron Munchausen: 8 Clicks
Aliens Vs. Predator: 1 Clank
Bad Santa: 9 Clicks
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever: 2 Clicks
Bend it Like Beckham: 8 Clicks
Bourne Supremacy: 10 Clicks
Bowling for Columbine: 8 Clicks
Bubba Ho-Tep: 8 Clanks
Cirque du Soleil- Allegria [stage]: 10 Clicks
Cold Mountain: 7 Clicks
Cutthroat Island: 2 Clicks
Elf: 8 Clicks
Equilibrium: 6 Clicks
Escape From Alcatraz: 7 Clicks
Finding Nemo: 10 Clicks
Girl With a Pearl Earring: 7 Clicks
The Graduate [stage]: 7 Clicks
Hero: 7 Clanks
House of 1000 Corpses: 5 Clanks
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days: 5 Clicks
Hudson Hawk: 6 Clanks
The Hulk: 7 Clicks
Identity: 3 Clicks
Igby Goes Down: 5 Clicks
Intolerable Cruelty: 6 Clicks
I, Robot [trailer commentary][IronLung]
I, Robot [trailer commentary][Wrongrobot]
Kill Bill Vol.1: 10 Clicks
Kill Bill Vol.2 [IronLung]: 9 Clanks
Kill Bill Vol.2 [Wrongrobot]: 10 Clicks
The Last Samurai: 8 Clicks
LotR: Return of the King: 7 Clicks
My Architect: 9 Clicks
Original Kings of Comedy: 7 Clicks
The Phantom: 1 Click
Pirates of the Caribbean: 9 Clicks
The Punisher: 5 Clanks
Secretary: 9 Clicks
Shanghai Knights: 4 Clicks
Spellbound: 7 Clicks
Spider-Man 2: 8 Clanks/ 8 Clicks
Starsky & Hutch: 8 Clicks
Star Trek- Nemesis: 6.5 Clicks
Terminator 3: 5 Clicks, 2 Ooks
The Thin Red Line: 7 Clicks
To Live and Die in LA: 10 Clicks
Troy: n/a
Van Helsing: 4 Clicks, 0 Clanks!
Whale Rider: 8 Clicks

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Comic Film Adaptations News [Film and TV]:

Appleseed OAV 2004 6/18/04
Aeon Flux: 2/27/04
9/1/04
9/10/04
Akira Live-Action Film 9/29/04
Animated Batman 2004 9/2/04
Batman Begins: 2/12/04 2/19/04 2/24/04 3/02/04 3/03/04 3/04/04 3/08/04 3/9/04 3/17/04 3/19/04 3/31/04 TRDL Concept Illustration 4/3/04 4/5/04 4/12/04 TRDL Concept Illustration Part 2 4/12/04 4/21/04 4/22/04 4/23/04 4/23/04 4/29/04 5/4/04 Costume Critique 5/4/04 Script Excerpts 5/7/04 6/01/04 6/04/04 6/09/04 6/10/04 6/15/04 6/16/04 7/6/04 7/13/04 7/20/04 7/26/04 7/28/04 Trailer 7/29/04 7/31/04 8/2/04 8/3/04 8/4/04 8/5/04 8/8/04 8/10/04 8/12/04 8/17/04 8/20/04 8/24/04 8/30/04 10/19/04
Battle Angel Alita: 9/10/04
Black Widow 4/29/04
Blade 3: Trinity: 5/4/04 6/11/04
Catwoman: 2/18/04 5/21/04 Game Concept Art 5/21/04 6/11/04 Suckage! 7/29/04
Comic Adaptations 10/13/03
Constantine: 3/08/04 5/14/04
Dazzler?!? 7/7/04
Elektra: 2/19/04 3/29/04 4/23/04 5/14/04 4/29/04 5/4/04 6/10/04 6/18/04 7/1/04 7/2/04 7/6/04 7/29/04 9/20/04 10/13/04
Fantastic Four: 6/16/04 7/8/04 7/14/04 7/15/04 8/3/04 9/20/04
Ghost in the Shell 2: 9/18/04
Global Frequency: 6/15/04 7/16/04 8/17/04
Good Time For Comic Films! 5/14/04
Green Lantern?!?: 7/24/04 Koboshed 8/8/04
Hawaiian Dick: 4/21/04 Interview 4/22/04
He-Man: 10/11/04
Hellboy: 2/12/04 Interview: Del Toro 2/20/04
3/03/04 3/9/04 3/17/04 Personality Test 3/17/04 Figures Released 3/29/04 Toys Addendum 3/30/04 Choose the Next Figures! 4/21/04 Hellboy: An Introduction 3/30/04 Interview: Selma Blair 3/30/04
Interview: Spectral Motion 4/5/04 Caught On Film in '62! 4/21/04 Interview: Selma Blair, CafeFX 4/28/04 Hellboy Collaborator Medical Fund Auction! 5/4/04 DVDs 7/7/04 7/28/04 8/3/04 8/5/04 8/25/04 8/31/04 Hellboy 2: 3/29/04 4/8/04 6/03/04 8/27/04 9/1/04
9/14/04
Hulk 2? 5/4/04 9/7/04

Hulk Op-Ed 7/14/04
Iron Man: 3/03/04 4/23/04 6/10/04 6/28/04 9/14/04
8/2/04 8/10/04
Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD 9/8/04
Preacher FX 4/29/04
Sin City: 3/19/04 4/04/21 4/04/29 4/05/19 5/21/04 6/01/04 6/11/04 7/1/04 7/26/04 7/28/04 7/20/04 8/11/04 9/15/04
Spider-Man 2: 2/18/04 3/29/04
Spider-Man 3: 5/4/04 5/14/04 6/10/04 7/13/04 Spider-Man 2 Game Screenshots 6/8/04 Spider-Man 2 [trailer commentary]
Superman: 5/21/04 6/03/04 6/09/04 6/10/04 6/28/04 7/1/04 7/13/04 7/14/04 7/20/04 8/5/04 8/10/04 8/27/04 8/31/04 9/10/04 9/15/04 10/19/04 [2] 10/19/04
Transformers: 9/10/04
Wanted 3/03/04
Watchmen: 4/4/23 4/7/24 7/24/24 8/12/04 9/10/04
Wolverine: 10/13/04
X-Men 3: 7/20/04 5/4/04 6/18/04 7/7/04 7/8/04 7/14/04 7/15/04 7/20/04 8/27/04 Aborted Sentinel? 9/2/04 9/7/04 9/15/04

:::
Film News, General:

A Scanner Darkly Film Adaptation
Akira: Kaneda's Bike in Production? 8/28/04
Aliens Vs. Predator: 6/2/04 Chess Set 5/26/04 6/8/04 Trailor 6/11/04 6/28/04 7/8/04 [trailer commentary] 8/5/04 8/8/04 7/15/04 8/12/04
Anchorman 7/13/04
Big Lebowski Day! 5/5/04
Bloodrayne 8/10/04
Bond? Who Bond? 8/3/04
Bourne Supremacy: 1/6/04 Trailer: 5/4/04 7/8/04
Cage Deserves Happiness 7/31/04
Clooney/ Tarantino in the News 10/15/03
Dodgeball 6/01/04
Domino 8/3/04
HEAT vs. R:HD: Dialog Analysis 10/22/03
Heat/ GTA III: Lawsuits Imitate Life 10/23/03
Incredibles 8/23/04
Jim White Documentary 3/23/04
Kill Bill 2 Poster 2/18/04
Kill Bill Interview: Uma Thurman 4/8/04
Kill Bill Vol. 3?! 4/12/04
The Life Aquatic 1/15/04
Matrix Explained? 8/31/04
National Treasure 8/4/04
Nowhere Man 7/26/04
Pierce is Bond No More 7/27/04
Sky Captain 7/15/04
Sky High 8/17/04
Soderberg Joins Che 4/5/04
Speed Racer: Vince Vaughn 6/25/04
Stealth 7/8/04
Summer 04 Films to Watch 4/22/04
Team America Puppet Porn 8/25/04
Transporter 2 6/16/04
Van Helsing: Van Helsing WHO? 3/16/04 Interview: ILM 5/5/04 Penny Arcade 5/18/04
Underworld 2 9/7/04
WB Kills ESC F/X 8/18/04
Will Smith Lexicon 5/18/04
Zatoichi: Blind Swordsman 6/25/04
No Mas James Bond
Miami Vice on the Big Screen

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TV Reviews, and the M+R Review Rating, out of 10 Possible Clicks, or Clanks, or Ooks

24 Season 3: 10/29/03: 8 Whirrs 11/5/03: 6 Whirrs 2/08/04: 7 Whirrs 2/12/04: 8 Whirrs 2/18/04: 8 Whirrs 2/24/04: 9 Whirrs 4/06/04: 7 Whirrs 4/26/04: 6 Whirrs 5/03/04: 3 Whirrs 5/11/04: 9 Whirrs 5/18/04: 8 Whirrs Finale 7/8/04: 3 Whirrs
Apprentice: Robin and Carolyn 4/16/04
ATHF and Space Ghost Links 2/25/04
ATHF: Revenge of the Trees 10/13/03: 8 Clicks The Shaving 10/27/03: 7 Clicks Super Trivia 9/22/03: 8 Clicks Battlestar Galactica 1/13/04: 3 Clicks
Carnivale: 9/22/03: 10 Clicks 9/30/03: 9 Clicks
Christopher Columbus: Secrets From the Grave: 3 Clicks
CSI: 8/11/03: 1 Ook 9/26/03: 5 Clicks CSI: Miami: 7/30/03: 1 Ook 7/31/03: 6 Clicks 9/26/03: 7 Clicks
Deadwood 3/24/04: 8 Clicks
Dinner for Five: 9/26/03: 7 Clicks 9/30/03: 7 Clicks
Ed: 9/26/03: 3 Clicks Series Finale 2/12/04: 7 Clicks
Emmy Nominations 04 7/15/04: 7 Clicks
Enterprise 10/13/03: 6 Clicks
Everybody Loves Raymond 9/26/03: 6 Clicks
Friends 9/26/03: 7 Clicks
Grammys: Outkast's Andre 3000 2/9/04: 10 Clicks
Law and Order Family: 9/30/03: 8 Clicks
Law and Order: 10/13/03
Law and Order: CI: 1/12/04: 8 Clicks
Marvel Comics Guide to NYC: 10 Clicks
Method and Red: 9 Clicks
MI-5 10/28/03: 10 Clicks
Mix It Up 1/12/04: 8 Clicks
Mr. Show: What to Think 9/10/03: 10 Clicks
Penn & Teller's Bullshit: 9 Clanks
Reno 911!: 9 Clicks 9/7/03
Space Ghost C2C: Baffler Meal: 11 Clicks! Flipmode 2/25/04:20 Clicks Survivor 7 9/19/03: 8 Clicks
Survivor All-Stars: 2/12/04: 8 Clicks 2/13/04: 7 Clicks Tour de France 2003 8/4/03: 8 Clicks
Will & Grace 9/26/03: 7 Clicks

:::
TV News

24/Law and Order/CSI "That Guy" Character Actor Tracker
24: Comic Adaption 3/25/04 Season 4 Casting 8/9/04
Amazing Screw-On Head Cartoon 4/8/04
Cigarette Smoking Man Action Figure 5/26/04
CSI: CSI in Comedy Culture 6/24/04 CSI's Peterson 2/18/04 Sick outs Everywhere 7/27/04
CSI: Miami Drinking Game 2/27/04 No Mas Rory Cochrane 8/9/04
CSI:NY: 3/8/04 3/16/04 Drawn Together 8/20/04
HDTV ScreenCap Archive 8/25/04
Jessica Simpson 10/21/03
Mastershake Speaks 9/7/04
Nike's Lance Commercial: Magnet 8/18/04
Law and Order: Trial by Jury Casting 6/04/04
NBC Hijacks TiVo 1/15/04
Simpsons' Shearer Balks 8/12/04
Survivor All-Stars Cast 1/12/04
Survivor 9 8/18/04
Robbery: Homicide Division Music 9/30/03

French Connection Made for TV


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Wrongrobot's Comics Stash- Comics and Sequential Art Reviews

Comic Reviews, and the M+R Review Rating, out of 10 Possible Clicks, or Clanks, or Ooks

Comics Reviews Intro
100 Bullets: 48: 7 Clicks
52, 53: 8 Clicks
9-11, Artists Respond Collections
Alias: 24-25: 10 Clicks 26-27: 10 Clicks 28: 9 Clicks
Astonishing X-Men: 2: 8 Clicks 3,4: 9,10 Clicks
Avengers: 500: 8 Clicks 502: 7 Clicks
Batgirl Year One TPB: 10 Clicks
Batman: 620: 5 Clicks 621: 7 Clicks
Batman: Long Halloween: 7 Clanks
Bloodstream 1: 1 Click
BPRD One Shots: 9/7 Clicks
Cla$$War: 4: 8 Clicks 5: 10 Clicks
Daredevil: 50-52: 9/3/5 Clicks 54: 4 Clicks 56: 9 Clicks 57: 7 Clicks
65: 6 Clicks
Domino:Perfect Weapon: 8 Clicks
Exiles: 30-33: 6/4/4 Clicks 36-37: 3/6 Clicks
Ex Machina: 2, 3: 7 Clicks
Global Frequency 11: 10 Clicks
Gotham Central: 10-11: 9 Clicks 13: 9 Clicks 16-18: 9 Clicks
Hellhounds 1-3: 7 Clicks
Human Target: 4: 9 Clicks 5-6: 8 Clicks 7: 8 Clicks
12, 13: 9 Clicks
Iron Man: 73-75: 8 Clicks 76: 2 Clicks 77: 5 Clicks 86: 9 Clicks
JSA: 51-52: 7/8 Clicks 53: 8 Clicks 54: 4 Clicks 56-57: 7 Clicks 58: 3 Clicks
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2: 3 Clanks, 8 Clicks
The Losers: Ante Up TPB: 9 Clanks 6: 10 Clicks 10-11: 8/10 Clicks
16: 10 Clicks
New Invaders 0: 3 Clicks
New X-Men: 144-146: 5 Clicks 149: 3 Clicks 151-152: 2 Clicks 153: 3 Clicks
[Renamed X-Men] 159-162: 4 Clicks
Paradise X: A: 9 Clicks
Planetary: TPBs (1-12): 8 Clicks 16: 5 Clicks : 8 Clicks 18: 9 Clicks
Powers: 33: 8 Clicks 36: 9 Clicks 37: 10 Clicks V2, 1: 10 Clicks
2-4: 10 Clicks
Pulse: 5: 7 Clicks
Queen and Country: 20: 10 Clicks 21: 10 Clicks 25: 8 Clicks
The Ride 1: 9 Clicks
Secret War 1: 8 Clicks
Sleeper: 8: 10 Clicks 11: 10 Clicks 12: 10 Clicks Sleeper Season Two: 1: 10 Clicks
Supreme Power: 1-2: 10 Clicks 4: 10 Clicks 7: 10 Clicks 8: 9 Clicks 11: 8 Clicks
Tokyo Storm Warning TPB: 5 Clicks
Ultimates: 12: 10 Clicks 13: 10 Clicks
Ultimate Fantastic Four 1-2: 7 Clicks 3: 8 Clicks
Ultimate Nightmare: 1: 10 Clicks
2: 8 Clicks
Ultimate Six: 1: 10 Clicks 4: 10 Clicks 6: 9 Clicks Ultimate X-Men: 36-37: 2 Clicks
Ultra: 2: 9 Clicks
Uncanny X-Men: 429-431: 4 Clicks 433: 2 Clicks 437-441: 1 Click 444-445: 5 Clicks 446: 6 Clicks
Wanted 2: 10 Clicks
We3: 1: 10 Clicks
Wildcats 3.0: 13: 7 Clicks 16: 7 Clicks 18: 7 Clicks
X-Statix : 2: 4 Clicks 13-15: 6 Clicks 18: 4 Clicks 19: 3 Clicks

:::
Friends of Robot: Artists:

FoR: 36Oh.net FofR: Enrico Casarosa
FoR: Terra Major's Horns of Hattin
FoR: Losstarot
FoR: Prometheus
FoR: Studio Kosen

Comic News:

Check the Film News section for updates on comic-related film adaptations! 100 Bullets FPS Game 4/2/04
Ale Garza on Batgirl 8/5/04
Amazing Screw-On Head Cartoon 4/8/04
Apparat Line: Warren Ellis 8/25/04
The Atomic Revolution Comic 3/23/04
Authority: Nguyen Interview 5/14/04
Authority OGN 7/20/04
Avengers 500 Preview 7/1/04
Brent Anderson on Pulse, Astro City 3/25/04
Batman Begins Costume Illustration [Wrongrobot]4/3/04
Batman: War on Crime 8/31/04
Bullseye Origin Series 6/28/04
Comics For Intellectuals 9/1/04
Decompression and Pacing 9/23/03
Dillon on Bullseye 9/7/04
Doc Frankenstein by Burlyman 9/2/04
Doc Ock Year One 6/16/04
Earth's Mightiest Mini 9/3/04
Ellis and Granov on Iron Man 5/25/04
Ellis Stream-a-Blog: Iron Man 7/31/04
Ellis Stream-a-Blog: Explodo 8/2/04
Ellis Stream-a-Blog: Bad Kids 8/27/04
Fox Sued over LoEG Script 9/26/03
Hawaiian Dick Bk 2 8/23/04
Hack/Slash book 2 6/18/04
Hal Jordon and Copyrights 8/20/04
Hellboy: An Introduction 3/30/04
IDW's 24 Comic 3/25/04
Iron Man Facelift 9/12/03
Iron Man 87 Outtakes 8/27/04
Joss Whedon Interview: Astonishing X-Men 8/10/04
JSA vs. JSA 8/12/04
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 3 6/1/04
Marvel Vs. DC 8/31/04
Masamune Shirow 10/15/03
Micro-Heros Animated GIFs 4/6/04
Morrison on JLA: Hyperclan and Superman 6/1/04
Morrison's WE3 9/1/04
New Avengers 8/18/04
Nguyen Confirmed on Authority Vol.3 5/14/04
Nouvelle Manga Manifesto 6/11/03
Ocean 8/9/04
Orson Welles as Batman? 9/26/03
Phoenix Mini-Series 8/20/04
Poorly Drawn Animals 8/2/04
Remains: Niles/Dwyer Interview 3/12/04
Scurvy Dog: Yount Interview 1/15/04
SD Comicon Visual Oddities 7/31/04
Space Ghost 7/31/04
Spandex vs Leather 4/6/04
Steven Grant on 'Literature of Ethics'
The Losers: Diggle/Jock Interview 3/11/04
The Picture of Everything 1/15/04
The Question: Rick Veitch 9/1/04
The Question: Tommy Lee Edwards 9/2/04
Teddy Roosevelt From Mars 8/20/04
Tom Coker: Batman in Monolith 8/30/04
Tony Harris Pages from new Iron Man Arc
Ultimates: Bryan Hitch Interview 9/12/03
Ultra 8/18/04
Watchmen Remembered 8/12/04
WizardWorld LA Promo Art 3/22/04
WonderCon 2004 Buzz 8/13/04
WonderCon 2004 Buzz 2 8/17/04
WonderCon 2004 Dance-Off 8/18/04
Worlds Finest Film 7/26/04
World's Finest Interview 8/4/04
Young Avengers 8/20/04
Identity Crisis Covers
Honey Moon, The Ride, Rex Steele, Shirow, Megacity909
Comic Preview: Intimates, Iron Man
TSR Illustrator Terminally ill
Twinkie Comics, Avengers Dissembled Toy-style
Interview: Mark Millar of Ultimates
Interview: Cliff Chiang of Human Target
Star Trek Manga Anthology from Tokyopop
Pop Mahn to TokyoPop
Granov Iron Man Preview Pages
Image Comics Moves to Berkeley

Film Review: Girl With a Pearl Earring
12/16/2003



We saw an advanced screening of Girl With a Pearl Earring late last week, and I enjoyed it for the wrong reasons, I think. That is not to say I was having an especially purient moment in the theater, because despite the humdrum attempt to maintain this forbidden erotic tension thing they target in so many of these period films, the film wasn't very emotionally, or physically stimulating. Until the last 90 seconds, that is.

This was not a Merchant Ivory film. It wasn't stylish frocks and glittering jewelry and blooming tulips in every other frame. Anthony Hopkins wasn't around, though he could easily have been. Rather, it was that other kind of period film of recent years, the pseudo-realistic piece that broadcasts to the audience that all of their childhood fantasies about experiencing these moments in time were woefully off base. We didn't have the usual plague imagery or copious fluids of say, Rob Roy, but we did have a myriad of little details that rocked me like a hurricane. The setting is mid-17th century Holland, and the film follows a young Protestant woman, Griet, played by Scarlett Johansson, as she is sent to work as a housemaid for a struggling painter and his household. The context of the family's cultural standing in Dutch society was very interesting. The painter, Vermeer, and his demanding, outmoded wife, share the small house on the river's edge with his young daughter and mother-in-law, a stern but wise woman who alone understands the financial reality of Vermeer's waning work on behalf of his lecherous patron. As Griet is introduced into the household, she shares basement-level sleeping accommodations with the primary housekeeper, the children, and the nursemaid. The conditions are pretty wretched, and the film does a great job of showing not only the interesting nuances of a seaport city with a canal transportation system during the Reformation, but also the unpleasant reality of a maid's work in a bustling household. Griet's hands and arms are soon inflamed and pocked with burns and boils, and she seems to have three modes: comatose with exhaustion, shivering in fright at her masters' outrage at whatever, and intense obsession with Vermeer's painting gear. It's a severe, harsh life, and Griet's Protestant upbringing doesn't fully prepare her for the politics, sexual manipulation, and materialistic expectations of her new Catholic masters. As the story develops, we see Vermeer unhappy and brooding, the specter of his affairs with the women he paints hanging over the jealous women of the household, and his unhappy wife wailing and protesting and making a scene about everything as she slips farther and farther out of her husband's interest. Griet of course is instantly the subject of everyone's attention, as Vermeer becomes obsessed with her, the townspeople assume the worst, and the lady of the household is sent over the edge in rage. Her mother, however, understands that in order for Vermeer to get paid, he must paint, and if it takes another trip to the teenage well for Vermeer to be productive, so be it. As a result, she greases the wheels for Vermeer's patron to commission a new piece, in secret, of Griet. The politics of the household get out of control, and in the end, Griet is used and cast out, despite never succumbing to her master's sexual advances, despite being marked as his mistress thereafter. Interestingly, this boiling pot of innuendo, repressed emotion, and psychological frustration culminates in Vermeer completing his most passionate, and now considered his most important, piece: The Girl With the Pearl Earring.

If only the film wasn't so borrrrrrring. I'm a tough viewer to bore with a good period film. I like all the details, the sets and costumes, the historically accurate touches, everything that pulls the film away from high-school-history-lite and back into the realm of grim reality. I loved the costumes, even at their drollest, and the logistical details of the narrow, vertical house on the canal were interesting to study. From the open wounds on the hands of the staff, to the unpleasant vividness of dead geese being hurtled into fatty oil, to the breaking of the ice in the canal during the spring thaw, the film was rich with these little gems. However, the plot moved at a snail's pace, and while most everyone around them tended to over-emote and throw fits, Griet and Vermeer were almost static participants in the drama, enraptured and shamed by each other. I think a good amount of this was due to effective performances by Johannson and Colin Firth. But unfortunately, the piece hung for so long on the dreary existence of Griet trapped in her caste of sorts, that it was hard to keep focused on the themes of the story. It was clever that Vermeer taught Griet some basics of mixing paint and studying light, and then of course Griet's opportunity to learn and be a part of this world was suddenly snatched away again, adding to the tragedy of her fate. The character is painted, no pun intended, as a beautiful, repressed, undervalued, bright woman who, under different circumstances, might have been an artist and companion for Vermeer, but was trapped by societal expectations in a servant mode that Vermeer was clearly not emotionally hardened enough to fight to change on her behalf. She was led on in a way worse than sexual promises or adulterous manipulation. She was given an opportunity to be in Vermeer's world and play with his toys, and then his weakness, and his wife's jealousy, destroyed that moment forever.

Scarlett Johannson does a very good job in the film. It goes beyond her eerie similarity to the painting, and her naturally rosy cheeks, doe eyes and seemingly perpetually moist lips. Clearly, she's a good physical fit for the role. But she also parlayed the experience gained from several similarly repressed roles, into a more nuanced performance here. True, she stood stunned for about 60% of the film, but I thought she did a good job of conveying emotion and interest in things without the usual range of mannerisms, expression, emoting, and in many cases, dialog. Repression is a deceptively difficult state to portray effectively, I think. Do it wrong, and you come off sullen and timid. There were moments when Scarlett brought Griet out of her shell, to slap a kid or monkey around with Vermeer's studio gear, etc. and it she played it with a certain amount of conflict, her personal need versus the appropriate reservedness of a Protestant maid. Her eyes would sort of flicker with the conflict. Nice touch.

There was some symbolism at work in the film, largely about the earrings. I got the feeling that they represented not only Vermeer's desire, but also, once she wears them , and yet doesn't sleep with Vermeer, I think they became a symbol of her choice, her personal sexual power, though not virginity. In the end of the film, when Vermeer sends her the earrings as a gift, I interpreted it to be a much more personal statement, that Griet had kept her sexuality her own, and that had made her more special, more coveted, and certainly more respected by him. Additionally, the subtext of all of this goes back to the mystery of the painting, as contemporary art scholars continue to develop theories about it. Who was the model? Why the exotic headdress? Why no background? Why is it similar in style, but dissimilar in content, to Vermeer's other work? I think the film's hypothesis was interesting: that this was only nominally a commissioned piece, but more importantly, a love letter to griet, Vermeer being so obsessed with her that the context, the background of the painting was meaningless, and all he focused on was capturing the sad spark of potential in her eyes. The emotionally repressed backstory in the film is long, dull, and obvious, but in the last moments of the film, when the painting is finally revealed to a long, slow pan-out, you could hear the audience gasp. It was very effective.

7/10 Clicks



Official Site: Lions Gate Films- Girl With a Pearl Earring
Girl With a Pearl Earring: Art Study

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Comic Preview: Intimates, Iron Man
Plushie Sex Dolls?!?
Biomemetics; Ghost in the Shell 2; TSR Illustrator Terminally ill
Elektra, Fantastic Four
City of Heroes...Rave Parties...
Comic Reviews: Human Target 12, 13; Ex Machina 2, 3
Chindogu- the art of the unuseless idea
IronLung's Bachelor Party
Akira, Twinkie Comics, Avengers Dissembled Toy-style
Film Review: The Punisher
Comic Reviews: Losers 16, Daredevil 65
Interview: Mark Millar of Ultimates
Interview: Cliff Chiang of Human Target
Comic Reviews: Ultra 2; 100 Bullets 52, 53; We3 1
Comic Reviews: Avengers 502, X-Men 159-162, Ultimate Nightmare 2, Pulse 5, Powers 2-4
Star Trek Manga Anthology from Tokyopop
Loch Ness Monster Real? LiveStrong Yellow Bracelets Illegal; John Woo Directing He-Man; Pop Mahn to TokyoPop
MC Escher Models
Film Review: Hero
The Trilobyte
French Connection Made for TV
Rogue in Wolverine spin-off
Star Wars: Battlefront
Granov Iron Man Preview Pages
Elektra Film Poster
City of heroes mass mourning for Reeves
Beatbits: Bill Shatner Sings about Ass Gas, New Monkeys Sing Better
Miami Vice on the Big Screen
Burlyman Comics: Tasty WHA-AT?!?
Image Comics Moves to Berkeley
Batman Begins Photos, Superman Casting
Evangeline Lily as Lois Lane?
Really GOOD Paris Hilton Pics
Superhero Identity Quiz!
Videogame Sex Revolution
Comic Review: Orbiter hardcover
Superman, Girl Gamers, Astroboy on Ninjatune, Beauty Week in China and a Pathetic Bitter Pill Comics Writer
Robots Will Pick Your Nose for You in 2007, Guaranteed
Fantastic Four film news
Iron Man film news
5 Shitty Movies that Everyone Loves
Elektra vs. Typhoid Mary - film news
X-Men Legends on Penny Arcade
CSI: Baghdad!
TV Review: Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law
TV Reviews: Season Premier Roundup, part 1: Returning Shows
Link-of-the-week: Votergasm.com
Monkeylander!
Superman, Fantastic Four movie news
[Latest] Best T-Shirt Ever
Kojak Remake
The Last Starfighter- The Musical
Scientist Grows Brain in Petri Dish, Inserts in Robot Against Advice of Knowing, Imperiled Female Assistant
Batman's Costume in full effect- film news
Meat hats and maggot vats
The Intimates- comic creator interviews
Rolling Stone's Batman spread- film news
Iron Man film news
Isotope Lounge's Election Day Giveaway
Happy Halloween from Wrongrobot
Ben Affleck Bites Geeky Small Cabage-Smelling Hand that Fed Him a Hot Girlfriend
What the? Face/Off?!?
Comic Review: Iron Man 89
Comic Review: Daredevil 66
Comic Review: The Authority: Revolution 1
Is Superman Singer's Secret Subversive Weapon? - film news
Hoi Hoi, Cockaroach Killing Cutey Doll Manga?!
Comic Review: Uncanny X-Men 451
Global Frequency- TV news; Iron Man- film news
Nintendo Threatens Suicidegirls.com over 'Turn-Ons'
Comic Review: X-Men 163
Comic Review: Doctor Spectrum 3
Fantastic Four film news
Comic Review: Ultimate Nightmare 3 3
Star Wars III Mania!
The Late Late Kilborn-less Show
Watchmen film news
NYPD Blue: Officially the Crappiest Show in History
Global Frequency Pilot Dumped- TV news
Let's Fondly Remember Ashlee Simpson Biting It
Crow 4: From Grave to Blockbuster to Grave
Sin City Posters!- film news
Comic Review: Ultra 3
Comic Review: Losers 17
Comic Review: Human Target 15
Willy Wonka in Paradis!
Superman film news
Comic Review: WE3 2
Kids-In-Mind Review: The Limey
TV Review: Ghost in the Shell- Stand Alone Complex
Blast from the Robotic Past: GI JOE!
Global Frequency TV news
Dr. Doom's Concealed Dope! - film news
Darth Vader shills for Target

Wrongrobot's Wrong News Items, Gadgety Goodies, Musical Memes, and other random items:

Chris Cunningham
Asimo Sex Therapy
T-Mobile Int. Cycling
Minidisc Audio Media
FoR: Pac-Collective
Pepsi's Wrong Monkey
Concert Review: Radiohead
Radiohead Art Therapy
FoR: New Beetle Sightings
Moonites' Quad-Laser!
AI on the Web
Mini Cooper Mini Watch
Unusual Sound Gimmickry
Cyber-Monkey!
Radiohead/Sigur Ros Ballet
FoR: DieselSweeties.com
Review: Neuros Audio
Hellboy Figure Preview
FoR: Eclectic Honey
FoR: RobotPirateMonkey
Idoru Taught Us Nothing
Manhunt Offends Kiwis
SF Hailstorm!
Conspiracy Theories
FoR: Kat-bot
Victorian Era Robots
Battle Royale Quiz
FoR: Pipingrad.com
Jack Black Soundboard
NZ's Best Magazine
Vibrating Pillow Alarm
Sunken Volvo Cargo Ship
Pac-Collective's Tycho Video
Wrong Hasseloff
6.5 Quake in San Simeon
Carpool Cheaters
FoR: Twerk
Jim White/ 16 Horsepower Project
Volkswagon Concept T
Sony Leaks Hi-MD
Wrong Asian Phone Commercial
Lovecraft and You
Powermate Input Knob
Chinese broadcast Surround FM
Nitpickers.com
National Security Archive
SpaceHijackers: Architecture
Dr. Frog Plant Moisture Meter
CSI: Miami Drinking Game
Toyota's Robot Plays Trumpet
Monkey+Robot Office Pic
Mini Cooper Robot Hoax
What to Give the Techie that Has Everything
Battlebots, But Better
Robotic Bathroom Assistant: Airyusha Robotan's Toilet Paper Holder
May-Wa Denki Robot Toys Cause Space Madness
SCOTTeVEST Gadgetware Jackets
Thumbprint Recognition HD Device!
Binary Translator
Modern Sign Language
EZ-BAKE-OVEN for PC
Record Albums From Memory Using MS Paint
Satirical Propoganda Posters
Miniature Desktop Siege Engines
Karmann Ghias Tested on Elk in Germany?
The Chillow
Wrongrobot's Wrong Laws
Giant Robot's Robotica
It's All About Lance
Tag & Rename
SpaceShipOne is Rad
SuperSoldier Infants
Radiohead Ringtones
Daring Planet
Star Wars Gangsta Rap
Lego Spider-Man
Pac-Collective's Flicker by Cavelight video
Matt Damon Plays Lance Armstrong in Biopic? 7/29/04
Natasha the Upright Monkey 7/29/04
Giant Robots Threaten San Diego 7/29/04
GoodPlasticSurgery.com 7/29/04
PNCA Illustrator Jam 8/4/04
Pimpin' Blue LED Japanese Watch 8/5/04
Aliens Face-Hugger Plush Toy 8/9/04
Demon Cat Terrorist 8/11/04
Spidey Swim Gear 8/17/04
Real's Apple Nightmare 8/18/04
Frank: Surreal Animation 8/20/04
Chinese Police Tactics 8/24/04
Knit Heroes: Mark Newport Exhibit 8/24/04
Desktop Rover 8/24/04
Cthulhu Garden Sculpture 8/25/04
Green Arrow's Blog 8/25/04
Milla's Totally Flat 8/25/04
Got w00t? 8/25/04
OAFE Custom Figures 8/27/04
CGI Girls in Playboy 8/27/04
Apollo Guidance Computer: Desktop Edition 8/30/04
Headless Hillbilly 8/30/04
Wheelchair Jet Propulsion 8/30/04
Disneyland Run by Satan 8/30/04
Pirate King! 8/31/04
Killer Seizure Robots 8/31/04
Optimus Rhyme 8/31/04
Robots Among Us 8/31/04
iMac 2005 9/1/04
Transformers Paper-Dolls 9/2/04
Transformers Predict 9/11! 9/2/04
Transformers Break it Down 9/3/04
Anti-Terrorist ID Card 9/5/04
Weathercube; Lance!
Plushie Sex Dolls?!?
City of Heroes...Rave Parties...
Chindogu- the art of the unuseless idea
IronLung's Bachelor Party
Twinkie Comics, Avengers Dissembled Toy-style
Loch Ness Monster Real? LiveStrong Yellow Bracelets Illegal
MC Escher Models
The Trilobyte
Star Wars: Battlefront
City of heroes mass mourning for Reeves
Beatbits: Bill Shatner Sings about Ass Gas, New Monkeys Sing Better
Burlyman Comics: Tasty WHA-AT?!?
Really GOOD Paris Hilton Pics

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WRONGROBOT'S SOURCE CODE:

Third Rail Design Lab- Comics and Sequential Art + Cyberpunk RPG resources


San Francisco Bay Area VW Karmann Ghia Sightings moblog

Wrongrobot's Permanently Robotic Links! Comic Illustration Links:
[artistic genius] Masamune Shirow Shrine
Masamune Shirow FAQ and Bio
Masamune Shirow - Art Style
Masamune Shirow Hyperpage

Losstarot: SFTU!

Alphaworks Online: David Tran
36oh.net
+Poisoncage+

Studio Kosen


36Oh.net


Artplaymix.com

Artbyfeng
Itch Studios: Sam Liu
D.O.A.- Carlos Pacheco Art
Itch Studios: PSG version 6.0
Eduardo Risso Website
Inking Artists & Answers
Terra Major: Lord Takeyama
Michael Avon Oeming's Powers Site
MCB
n o w h e r e g i r l .. an online comic
Pop Mahn's Site
The Art of Adi Granov
WildGuard.com
Get Your War On!
The Art of Phil Noto
Michiko!
Comic Art Community
GFXartist.com Member Gallery
Brad Green's Website
deviantART Illustration Community
Elsevilla @ DeviantART
Nati @ DeviantART
-Seed- @ DeviantART
Todd and Craig's Perphanauts
InkSkratch.com
BaldGuyStudios.com
McWolf 105
Diesel Sweeties: Pixelated Web Comic
Penny Arcade
Natalie Dee!
Monkey Box
Words and Pictures Museum
Micro-Heros Animated GIFs

Comic Industry Links

Footnote Comics
ADF The Andy Diggle Forum: The Losers
Isotope Lounge Forum
Newsarama at View Askew
Superhero Hype! - Calling All Heroes
TheFourthRail.com
The Small Press Magazine - News
The Comic Boards
Comicon's Pulse
Comic Book Resources
Comic Book Galaxy
Arthur Magazine
Broken Frontier

Music and Audio Technology Links:

Eclectic Honey

[ electronic ] titles at Aquarius Records
AllMusic.com
Dub.com
Follow Me Around- Radiohead Site
Green Plastic Radiohead
At Ease/ Radiohead
Discogs.com
Epitronic.com
IUMA.com
Mix of the Week
Art of the Mix
UBL's Artist Direct
Radiohead vs Matrix
Play Louder e-zine
TV Commercial Music Database
Dublab.com
Rock Critics.com Top 5 Lists
Lyred Lyrics Database

Minidisc T-Station Forum

Gnod Relative Database
Music Stack
Tycho's Site

Design Links:
Pac-Collective
SpaceHijackers: Architecture

General Links:
Carpool Cheats.org

National Security Archive

Binary Translator

Satirical Propaganda Posters

Eccentric Genius: Miniature Siege Engines

Blogging Friends of Robot Links:
Foxglove

may*star: girl + designsTemplate Root: Maystar Designs maystar designs