Visit Us at the R3 Forum!

3/18/2005

We FINALLY are pleased to announce that M+R in it's current incarnation is closed. Visit our message board at R3 for new content every day, in all the super-duper subjects you've expected from this blog: film, TV and comics news and reviews from the M+R Staff, plus wrongrobot's robotic root and our links section. These, and more, have been folded into the R3 Forum, the message board for Third Rail Design Lab comic illustration site. Hope to see you there... and bring a delicious beverage so you don't dehydrate once you get sucked in...




So says...Wrongrobot!

2 comments

self is: wrongrobot #

M+R Migration Underway!

1/19/2005

True Believers!
Robot Readers!
Monkey Minions!

It only LOOKS like we have been cheesing off.
In actuality, the new Monkey+Robot Reviews is nearly complete. Check back soon for a link to the new and improved site which includes, at the very least, more fatbits per minute. More fatbits!


We're about 75% finished migrating content over at the time of this writing. In the meantime, take a moment to review posts from our past that you missed the first time around. They're pretty much all solid gold. Pretty much.

-wrongrobot
0 comments

self is: wrongrobot #

Monkey + Robot Updates!

12/03/2004

Construction in Progress!

Dedicated readers will have recently noted that our daily post traffic has halted for the week, due to a disc quota issue, which I'm certain is an insidious terrorist plot. We have begun redistributing our content to three sub-sites, which will soon be dynamically linked here. However, in the meantime, updates will be posted daily to Monkey+ Robot Reviews, like this one, so follow the links to the story of choice:

Worst Chewbacca Toy Ever... or Secretly, the Best?

Dateline Hollywood: Site of the Week

Controversy Surrounds the New Dukes of Hazzard Film: Is She Hot...or Not?

Another Law and Order Crisis: Orbach has Cancer

Apprentice: Ivana Strips Because Look, It's Totally Unfair the Blonde Chicks Get the Attention!

24 Season Four Trailer

[Please excuse the unformatted Wrong Template there...]

While Contents May Settle During Shipping, we'll try to get the site back in gear next week.







So says...Wrongrobot!


0 comments

self is: wrongrobot #

We're BACK!

11/29/2004

Aeon Flux:



...which, unfortunately, as this photo offered up by IronLung proves, might very well be the only decent-looking side of the new Aeon Flux costume. Why the hell... I mean... who does this? Who spends all that dough to sign Charlize Theron, and clearly, not for a strong thespian performance in this particular project... and then goes out of their way to not utilize her natural assets? We discussed some possible costume avenues for the film quite awhile back here at M+R, long before Theron cracked her spine doing backflips in platform heels, stalling the project for months. One hopes this photo is either a mock-up or a base layer for an applied FX treatment for the suit in post-production (in which case I again ask, WTF...)

My wrongrobot recommendations:

1. Give Her Some Serious Leather! Stick with what works. Cottonelle yoga unitards are NOT cool, and no, it's not clever to be arch and film an unsexy Aeon Flux. This ain't Parsons. Give her some simple, banded, strappy and very shiny latex bondage gear and have at it. a 2 piece with thigh high boots, long gloves and lots of leathery garter style strapping. And then leave the rest uncovered and let Theron's porcelain complexion shine through the voids in the costume. Use the contrast. Imply the S&M thing. It's not a crime.

2. Make the Weapons Meaner! Remember, Aeon Flux carried larger than life, long, prickly weaponry, like Flash Gordon meets the dentist's office. Make them look painful to touch, then strap them on her in precarious ways. It's OK, Charlize... they make the props in rubber, so your privates won't be stung!

4. Do Those Stretches! I know Theron took a swan dive down spinal alley, and sure, it's dangerous business being a nimble, acrobatic super-heroine in today's larger than life cinematic productions, but let's rely on the wirework to ease the burden of physical laws, and make sure she does her stretches, so we can see some truly astounding gymnastic feats. It's half of what makes Aeon FLux interesting, the "she can't do THAT!" factor. And if Charlize really can't do that after all...

5. Hire Some Cirque Gymnasts! There's nothing wrong with a little body double work. Sure, they claim she was 'trained' by a Cirque gymanst, but we've heard how well that training served her so far. I'll bet the Cirque trainer, let's call her Daphne for kicks, could do cartwheels in platform heels all day long. In fact, I bet she DOES. So give her some screen time! The production's insurance premiums will be lower, and frankly, I've seen some bendy business in Cirque du Soleil that both nauseated and aroused me simultaneously. That's got to be a good selling point.

6. Hire Gwen Stefani! I know Charlize has some name appeal, and you probably got her on the cheap, pre-Monster Oscar... but after having seen Stefani perform at the MTV Europe Awards in what looked like 12" platform heels and a Cinderella outfit...



I have to tell you, there'd be a compelling case to just stay home with that MPEG instead. But we'll give Charlize a chance (even though she'll never have abs you could grate cheese with like Gwen, but whatever.)

Just think of the poster: a shot of one of these young French-Canadian gymnasts bending their bones into spectacularly wrong positions, hanging from a cord along the face of a high-rise, bedecked in latex and sharp, pointy pistols, with Charlize's face FX'ed onto her, with a caption like: "Aeon Flux: Nauseating AND arousing- This Summer!"

Hey, it COULD work.

So says...Wrongrobot!


0 comments

self is: wrongrobot #

Site of the Week: Starship Dimensions

11/14/2004

Starship Dimensions: Alert! Greekout warning! Alert!



Visit Starship Dimensions here.
Jeff Russell has put totgether a SCALE diagram of ships from various science fiction universes, and compared them to recognizable real-world objects, like the Statue of Liberty or a football field. The page is broken up into scale factors, each representing a unit length, and each scale factor section shows some representative ships from the previous scale factor. The scales range from 10x true scale (of the base unit size of the grid (1 pixel = 1 meter) so 10 pixels/meter, all the way up to 20000 pixels/meter. I was delighted to find Zentraedi from Macross well represented.

Most interesting is that, under Internet Explorer, you can drag the ships around and move them next to each other for comparisons. This is basically a techie wet dream. Seriously.




And he's included tons of notes about each series, including any information about scale conflicts and controversies, which, this being sci-fo, do happen. Here's an interesting link, for example, about the method of calculating the super star destroyer from star wars, based on measuring the curvature of the death star.

This site just... blows my little robot brain...

So says...Wrongrobot!


0 comments

self is: wrongrobot #